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Pancakes by PascalCampion
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My white hair!
Gonna have to get a tan now.
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A seal helping a helpless turtle get back into the water.
Am I the only one who thought the seal was attempting to mount the turtle?
(I am reblogging this primarily to celebrate Lotte’s heroic decision to post something to tumblr other than homoerotic Sherlock watercolors.)
Altruism in nature!!!
(Source: pick-it-up-and-smell-it)
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DOLAN DUCK STRIKES AGAIN!
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(Source: themagicofvenice, via hey-sugar-hey)
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… Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which was seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.I…oh god just…what did I just read?! WHAT IS AIR!?
ALL THESE TEARS. STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.
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omgggggggg
Why couldn’t this have been the textbook I paid a hundred dollars for Q_Q
(Source: poketchile)
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Men's forum sick of strong female characters in games»
If you want to see what is wrong with nerd culture, and specifically the enormous privilege enjoyed and expected by its male population, read this thread, or even just the first post (as it has gotten quite long now). But if you’re not interested in throwing up in your mouth a little, maybe don’t read it.
You know, feminists, with stuff like this around I really wish you would spend more time worrying about misandry.
Quoth the OP:
“I am starting this thread because I see a new trend in the video/computer game world and that is the increase in strong playable female characters.
Now, I am no hardcore gamer but I do play computer games often and the recent one I have been playing recently is Shogun 2 total war. Now for those who don’t know what this game is, it is a strategy game based on the military of feudal Japan. I recently bought an upgrade for the game the other day and guess what one of the strongest military units was? Nuns. I shit you not. The nuns had an attack 20% -40% higher than most units in the game. Somehow I doubt that in real life a nun would have swung a sword or used a spear faster and harder than a feudal warlord, and this game was based on history.
I think I have the right to ask steam and other gaming companes: WTF with the subliminal brainwashing? What now when I buy or play a game women will be doing all the ass kicking? I seen some similiar patterns on the game advertisements on television and the internet recently and want to know if anyone else is seeing the pattern?
I call bullshit on this subject. Video games are the last place for guys to hang out and now women are taking over. Why not just save us the trouble and instead of eliminating our fantasy world just throw us in work camp to provide for thier bastard children (literally speaking) while they shit all over us…wait they already do that.
End of rant.”—-
I bolded my favorite parts. Who ever heard of a historically-based video game taking liberties with its source material? Who??? And how about all these games where you can only play as women- wait, what? That doesn’t exist? He’s complaining because there was *an* option, singular, to have female units?
I guess you can’t expect much from the “Men Going Their Own Way Forums.” Seriously, that’s what it stands for. Precious.
-Jess
that man will be forever alone. -
There is a mariachi band in Wyckham.
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Harrison Ford watches the Indiana Jones movies for the first time.
How freaking adorable is this.
OH MY GOD THE CUTEST THINGAAAAAAAA
Naaah the Indiana Jones movies are overlaid on the tv screen. He’s actually playing Uncharted 3. 33 seconds in, you can see him holding a PS3 controller.
(via hey-sugar-hey)
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